Some Disturbing Shorts

Sometimes Kandie just doesn't have the time for elaborately strange dreams, so her brain went ahead and pooped these out in no time flat:

Eating an abnormally long package of only purple starbursts, taking exactly three bites to finish each piece.

Telling a bunch of people that if they want to hold Gray, they'll have to do it "through [her] stomach."

Refusing Franklin Roosevelt's request that she be his own personal bather.

Competing for Gerard Butler's affections against a dancing Julianne Hough in a rave-lit parking garage.  Luckily, Kandie won the contest by impressing Mr. Butler with her mothering skills.

Leapin' Leisure Suits, Batman

After falling asleep during Judge Judy (imagine that), Kandie's mind concocted this one within mere minutes...

It begins back at her childhood home in Blackfoot, Idaho with her younger brother Jared.  He's apparently 10 years old (even though she's still grown up), and they're playing together in the backyard when a shock wave from a "huge explosion" appeared headed right for them.  So they rushed inside the house, and when the shock wave passed they saw "many many small pieces" of debris flying through the air.  Luckily, the debris apparently knew how to reassemble itself because it "landed all put back together as a set from a 70's variety show."  After all, why wouldn't it?  Then, a man in a leisure suit landed right next to them.  This inexplicably scared Kandie and her brother (who doesn't love a leisure suit?), so she turned to her brother and said, "L.A. is so gone."

Then she woke up.

So it begins...

Ever since Kandie told me about the time Watermelon Finn (played by herself) and Elder Doghouse (played by Leonardo DiCaprio, of course) stole fruit from the rich to give to the poor, I knew it would be my responsibility to tell the world.  And so this blog will serve as a wonderful reminder of her dreams and mental abnormality, since she often forgets about both.